Opening Yourself and Your family to All Paths

One of the topics I read about and have seen often in my internet travels is Pagans who disagree with the paths of other pagans and spiritual paths. I find this an odd thing because many pagans will claim to be open minded and want others to be open minded to their beliefs. The reality of open mindedness when it comes to faith is actually a very difficult journey for some. I know for me personally I have no interest being involved in Dogmatic Christianity. I have struggled with this for a while because I do not like when Christians tell me I am a bad person for following my heart. But I still see beauty in that path and try to keep an open mind, but I do not agree with it and do not participate in it.. I struggle with the idea of letting my son go to a church. We are raising him without a particular faith and allowing him to choose when he is ready. But the idea of taking him to a church is very "bah". But what about other pagan paths? Yes there are some I would rather him not participate in, but in general I hope that he learns about as many as possible. When the time comes I will help him if he asks and until then we will look at as many faiths as we can together as a family.

I have a challenge for you...

I would like to see pagans look into and study in as much depth as possible a different pagan path or tradition other than their own for one moon cycle. This includes reading books on that tradition, researching it on the net, maybe even looking at some message boards and immersing into the path as well as possible.. and finally for extra credit, attending a ritual of this pagan path if able. I would then like to see a written account of what you liked what you didn't like and what you learned. I am even willing to share your experiences here at The Spiritual Mother. And I would love to know that you plan to do this.. what say ye?

Making Nap Time Spiritually Blissful

Nap time is a great time for bonding on a spiritual level and teaching meditation to young children. A mixture of meditation techniques and healthy sleeping techniques and Reiki can make a wonderful afternoon. Here is a break down of things I do with my own son and my Day Care children to help them fall asleep:

-Set the mood; darken the room, put on some tranquil music (we use Pandora's Nature Sounds Radio), use aromatherapy candles or oils, set up a sacred nap time space. Include many soft surfaces like pillows and blankets or comforters.

-Prepare the child by setting up a daily routine. This may include finishing lunch and putting on the music and darkening the room 10 minutes before hand. Stay away from any exciting activities and treat pre-nap time as "wind down" time. You can also add in hygiene practices such as hand washing (a mini ritual bath) and tooth brushing. Read a book out loud to them for extra Credit.

-Prepare yourself. "Are the dishes done? Did I pay the bills? What time is DH going to be home?" A woman's brain can get pretty active. Clearing it out and getting into a calm place helps so much when helping a child to nap. Find ways to calm quickly, such as a worry stone in your pocket, of taking a few breaths of fresh air. Ground and Center.

-Lay the child down, and give them any lovies such as a binky, stuffed toy or a blankey. I tend to cover the child with a blanket covering most of their bodies including their eyes, but leaving room for them to breath. I find this helps them know its nap time and know that I am putting them down for a nap.

- Gently rub their backs in a circular motion, moving to a more massage type touch. Gently massage the child's back while focusing on them being calm and relaxed. Think of this as an energy transfer and concentrate on putting them in a state of relaxation and sleep. Once child is in a state of sleep or extreme calm, feel free to switch to Reiki to help balance the chakras. If is a smaller infant feel free to rock them to sleep, but you can still use massage and healing touch techniques.

-Give the child time to get into deep sleep before leaving the room or getting up. Helping the child by just being in the room for these times helps greatly from them waking up and having to start over. Keep your energy focused during this time. If you are able and want to you can also join your child in a nap.

-If you choose to stay awake, use the quiet time to relax or meditate and recharge in your own way. This is a perfect time for a cup of coffee or tea.

The Mandatory Book List

I notice allot of people these days claim the title of Wiccan. The impression that I get is that they read one book and then think that this makes them a Wiccan. So here is my version of a book list that I expect anyone who claims the name Wiccan to have read before they announce to the world "I am Wiccan!" regardless of if they are solitary eclectic or a more traditional Wiccan path. As a Veteran to the craft, if I am in a conversation with a person who claims to know anything about Wicca, I automatically assume they have read the following:

Scott Cunningham's Guide to the Solitary Practitioner- If you follow my blog you know I am not that much of a fan of Cunningham.. however in this day and age every pagan has read this book. If you read this book and find yourself moved by its pages, Wicca is probably not for you.. However even if you like the book or not it is essential to understanding the ideals of Solitary Eclectics.

Raymond Buckland's Big Blue "Complete Book of Witchcraft"- its basic and covers many topics, this used to be a standard newbie book in the day, and now I get the impression that many pagans have no idea what this book is. It is a surface scratch for Wicca.

The Ferrar's Witches Bible- This covers a good chunk of info such as Sabbats and tools and all that good stuff..if you haven't read it and are calling yourself Wiccan.. you might as well be a rocket scientist who has never taken a calculus class.

Margret Adler's Drawing Down the Moon- This was once must read book for pagans back before Barnes and Noble had a New Age section... so yes you should read it.

Any Book by Gerald Gardner- because no matter what you believe, you can not do a ritual or study any form of Neo-Paganism without coming into contact with something Gardner did for the craft.. Yes the books are very boring.. and can take you almost a year of reading while on the toilet..but if you can actually get through one of these books you will be that much closer to understanding at least part of the history of American Wicca.

At least 10 other books- it doesn't matter what they are but paganism in general is about life long learning, and if you are going to claim to be on this type of path, as a fellow pagan, I expect you to honor the idea of being on a path to wisdom.

Attachment DayCare???

So.. what exactly is that? Well I run an in home day care and I run home on the principals of Attachment Parenting with all the children. It means that I do not use CIO, I hold babies and children when they want to be held, I help parents with breastfeeding, I cloth diaper my own child and some of my daycare children, and I baby wear. Is it easy? No, but definitely worth it! I have a goal with each child in my care to build a trusting relationship. I follow the goals of PITC (Providing Infant and Toddler Care Program) to help build a strong basis of continuity and to facilitate learning and positive relationships starting at birth. The bond that I have with all the children is deep and loving. Yes that means that if I leave the room to potty that 3 of them will cry because they can't see me. Yes it means some days I have to wear a baby around the house and whisper for 3 hours because they are napping in my Maya Wrap. Yes it means I have to plan our lunches around the baby so they can have homemade babyfood. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. I not only get to have a strong bond with my son (which never could be replaced by anyone) but I also get to have great day care kids that I get to spend the day with. I am a lucky woman!

Medela I'm Calling You Out!

Just this morning, one of my Favorite bloggers, Amy West of "Just West of Crunchy" (check out the new button on my side bar), wrote a piece about Medela. She discussed how Medela was violating the WHO code in depth and how it denigrates breast feeding awareness. She also covers issues with their pumps and why other brands are superior. I am here to tell you a story of an infant that we shall call Steve (not real name) and the effects the Medela bottles had on him. If Medela had breastfeeding, or infants at all in mind in correlation with their products, an adorable little boy would have had a very different start in life.

A few weeks ago a fellow Day Care Provider called me on the phone and said she had a small infant that she could not care for anymore. He was very clingy and cried all the time and she couldn't handle it and knew that my care would be best for him. I run my day care on the principals of Attachment Parenting and I have apparently started to get a name for myself with this concept in our town. I said yes that I would take him (because every child deserves a chance and I am always up for a challenge). So when this little boy started, on his first day, Mom came with a Medela brand bottle and asked me to only use this bottle even though I provide bottles in my care and use Born Free brand. Mom and baby had issues at birth and had a failed breastfeeding relationship. I said yes and used the Medela bottle. I quickly noticed in my care that this infant was extremely gassy, and also suffered from "raspiness" having difficult breathing after feedings. At home the breathing has been an issue and he had been put on a nebulizer to help with the issues. So even though mom asked me to only use the Medela bottles, I secretly tried out my Born Free bottles on him, which have a vent system in place. After only a few bottles mr. crankymcfussy pants was a new baby. He was smiling after a feeding and spitting up less (his first day when I only used the Medela bottles, he spit up on me so many times I went through 3 outfits), and he was less cranky in general. I continued to use the Born Free bottles on him a few more times and tried the Medela's several other times. He was always cranky after the Medela's. I began to also notice that his breathing improved when I used the Born Free bottles. I let Mom know that I thought he had some gas and suggested the use of a bottle with a venting system. Mom was reluctant to try them but after I sent a bottle of mine home with her, a few days later he was sent with a vented Avent bottle. Just last night I asked her if she had noticed a difference with her son and she opened up to me. She said he was a new baby and everyone was having a better time. It turns out that at home he was super fussy and even at one point, when Grandma was babysitting one evening, she called them and sent him home because she could not take the crying. Now she had a "new baby" and she was smiling for the first time since I met her. If this baby had been given a decent bottle from the start, he would have had a better relationship with his parents and family and probably would have never come to my care. It is a shame that a 4 month old should have to go through this when he is learning just how the world works. I hope to see many more improvements over time with Steve.

If Medela was serious about their bottles, and catering to the needs of infants, they would supply a bottle for mothers with their pumps and in their systems that actually helped infants. A glance at the Medela site offers no support in the lines of actually feeding an infant. What is the difference between their bottles and a cheap old bottle from the Walmart? None. I challenge Medela to change their bottles to fit the needs of all babies. How about a vent system to start with. A breast fed infant does not have to stop nursing at his mothers breast to let air in. And lets further discuss the nipple. How about making a variety of shapes that closer resemble a womans breast? Breast fed babies have more of a challenge at times in the child care setting getting familiar with a bottle nipple when away from the breast. If you really as a company want to promote breast feeding and supplying nursing mothers with a way to give expressed milk to an infant, why not develop a product that supports mothers and infants? It seems to me that Medela has one thing in mind.. making money. Because if you were serious about supporting and promoting breastfeeding, the products you offer would be way different.

Spirituality on the Clock

In this day and age we are forced to work in society and hold jobs to survive. Our pagan ancestors lived very different lives than us. They were able to be in the natural environment allot of the times they were working. For us many of us spend time in the corporate world trying to make a buck at the mercy of the system. I am one of the lucky ones that works for themselves. Yes I have more freedoms than most, but I too have to work hard and rarely have time to focus on my spirituality for that part of the day. Working by myself and noting having coworkers has allowed me to find ways to let in my spirituality for those 8 hours a day where I am focusing on my work. But we can find ways to be spiritual in the work place without outing ourselves as Wiccan or Pagan. Here are some techniques to think about:

-Keep a small ritual kit in your bag or coat. This can include a few stones or a figurines, herbs, essential oils, sea salt. Any items to help you center when needed.

-Keep a live plant at your desk, unless you are lucky enough to work outside. Take time to nurture the plant and allow the natural energy to come to you when needed.

-Have a small collection of the 4 elements such as a stone, a candle, a mini fountain or bottle of water and a feather or book.

-Ground when needed.. because what better way to deal with a boss/client who pisses you off?

-Wear or keep in your pocket a mojo bag with items that help you feel connected.

-Take meditation breaks.. if smokers get to go outside now and then.. why can't you? Everyone needs fresh air.

-Listen to nature sounds or meditation music on your break.

-Take your shoes off (actually since I work at home I never wear shoes..) and feel the ground beneath your feet.

-Write in your journal and read when ever you can.

-Sneak in moments of your secret indulgences such as chocolate.. or even the occasional online forum or blog.

so how do you connect to your spiritual side on the clock?

Snow Days

Its the dead of winter and snow is falling...in fact all but a few states have snow on the ground right now. this time of year has come with a stigma for "the winter blues". A Native American spiritualist and tribe member once described it to me as Wendigo, when the dark spirts get trapped in our homes and need light to get out, causing us to feel trapped and down in the dumps. There are ways to get around this though, on a spiritual and mundane level. Here are some ideas to try:

- Open the shades to your home and let the natural light in. It will help you see the outdoors more and help calm you down.

-listen to music or nature sounds.

-Read a few extra books..might as well while we have this extra time indoors.. save more free time for the warmer months to spend time outside.

-work on a craft project...make something new for your altar or ritual use, such as jewelry.

-Do a total house cleansing, including reorganizing areas and smudging the entire home.

-participate in new online forums.. explore a few that spark your interest and get to know more people.

-go to a pagan coffee social, or invite a local pagan over for a nice discussion.. since it never hurts to meet new people.

-get some indoor plants to nurture and help cleanse the air.

-meditate in front of a window and just watch nature for a period of time.

-Redecorate a room.. feel free to do something wild (I am currently planning on painting my hallway to look like a cave with cave paintings)

-do your taxes and plan to get something special (unless you owe money).

-Write in a journal...or BOS.

-learn a new form of divination.

-contemplate things you would like to work on yourself through the rest of the year.

-Take a snow day.. complete with jammies and hot chocolate.

Organic Bunny Crackers

I have never met a child who didn't like organic bunny shaped graham crackers. If you put them on the plate they will eat them. I have been finding these awesome little treats in Walmart recently.. YA Walmart, in our small town in Iowa with less than 7000 people, we have organic bunny crackers. But this is Walmart we are talking about, you know the giant supermarket chain that is the epitome of all things evil (right after Starbucks) and doesn't care about our health just how to make a buck? Well the organic winds have changed and now even I in small town Iowa do not have to wait for the Amish to make a cracker snack for my child that is healthy, or just end up eating goldfish. What's next, pagan books in the check out lane?

The Fading Face to Face

I have been on a break for the last few weeks, a mixture of being on vacation with the fam out east, and having a new day care child that doesn't sleep during nap times... whoops there went my daily blogging hour! It is funny to me the posts that I see on pagan message boards when I come back from an extended leave. There are always a few newbies asking for book recommendations, and a ton of replies suggesting Cunningham. And a few spell begging posts, and people asking about recommendations for their witches bottles or the sort, and the occasional post about what people are doing the nearest holiday, and a collection of a few other fluff pieces. And now we also have the Youtube videos. This is the one that is new to me. When I was a newbie, you had to seek out the nearest pagan meet up and then attend and sit around a camp fire or coffee cup and enjoy conversations with the elder folk. So now we don't have to do that.. we can just sit in front of our computer and watch a video or 20 about random pagan topics and cut out the face to face time with the crones. To me this was a very important lesson. Sitting around and learning how to show respect to elders of the community and learn to ask questions and hear the stories of the past was a wonderful time. Not only was it a learning experience, but it was a fun one where we got to hear the inner workings of naughty crones and have a community. It also kept alive an oral tradition that pagan folk have enjoyed for millenniums. I feel that this lack of community is hurting pagans more than helping them. Technological pagans in our times have the benefit of gathering large amounts of information on their own. This is an amazing advance for us. But by letting the face to face, no electronic devices needed convos die out, we are loosing so much. Meeting "face to face" allowed for pagans to form communities, even if it was solitaries meeting each other for special holidays. It allowed a sharing of ritual and things we probably normally wouldn't have research (internet or not) on our own. It was a way to learn crafts, food, survival skills, music, buy homemade goods and more within the pagan community. It tested boundaries with different lifestyles such as naturist, vegan, poly-amorous, and more. Now pagans can just log onto Youtube and watch the newest pagan- Julia Child give the best recipes to pagan bliss. And I know some people have trouble finding meet ups and gatherings, but that is part of it. You have to work to find it, it is supposed to be a journey.

Orange Peels

This the season that oranges and tangerines are in season, if you are like us you eat allot of them, they are like winters candy. Before you throw away your orange peels try these tried and true kitchen witch uses for orange peels:

1.) Throw them in a pot with water, cinnamon, a dash of cloves and ginger, a bit of vanilla extract and simmer on low..it makes your house smell like "Yule"

2.) Save them for after you do your dishes and grind them down the disposal, it will make your sink smell great instead of like old food or soap.

3.) Hand grate them and use the zest for cooking.

4.) bend them back and release the oils into the air for air freshener.

5.) dry them and use for potpourri or incense.

6.) squeeze out the oil and add to your favorite home made cleaner for an extra cleaning boost and fresh scent.

7.) let them sit in some olive oil and use over a salad.. yum!

8.) use the straight oil to remove sticky gunk...same as the actual cleaner.. just bend the peel to release the oil and you have it for free.

Looming Aloneness

My husband starts training for his CDL tomorrow.. and after 3 weeks-ish of training and working to get the license, he will be going on a one month long trip on the road. He may be gone on each trip for 3-4 weeks at a time. Knowing that this time we have had the last few weeks could be the most we see each other for the next few months has been the hardest part. Trying to spend time together without spending too much time getting annoyed with each other is rough. Our nerves are on edge, but we all know this is the best thing for us long term. If my husband puts 12 months on the road for this large company, he will be able to get hired anywhere making great money, and securing our families future. And I do have goals for personal growth and for my son while he is gone.. but first step is getting used to being the only parent around most of the time while my husband is gone.. first we get that taken care of.. then we move onto the goals.

Early Sunday Mornings

You never thought that waking up early on a Sunday morning was ever going to be a good thing did you? Of course no one wants to be up early.. but around 7ish you hear "Mommy.. Mommy.. Cereal" and it is so darn cute you can't resist the call to get out of bed and go get them the biggest bowl of cereal you have ever made...your head is in a daze because you really could have used any more sleep that you could have gotten. But watching your little one chow down on cereal and slurp bananas and milk is just priceless.. you can't even remember making the bowl.. but you just sit in a meditative trance wishing for coffee to make itself.. while they enjoy every bite. They take their 3/4 eaten bowl to the sink and spill the milk on the floor.. and say UT OHH.. and you hand them a towel and they wipe it up with joy.. and you sit back and wonder "how did I get so lucky".

Why I Don't like Cunningham

Due to the response of several of you guys and on several message boards, It has been asked of me to elaborate why I am not a fan of Cunningham.

My Disclaimer: I like things in its truest form.. like pizza. I am only a fan of pizza made in pizza places in NYC or mom and pop places.. I can't stand pizza hut or papa johns.. If I am going to eat tacos, I would rather have it at real Mexican restaurant instead of Taco Bell. I am this way with many things in my life, including Wicca. I am a traditionalist and I will always be that way. This is part of the reason I sought out traditional training with a lineaged coven over ten years ago. I wanted to learn what Wicca was and I felt that so many of the 101 books out there left many things unanswered.

When I was at the beginning of my spiritual path, I too read Cunningham. It was a good 15 years back, and I found his work to be decent at the time. But after reading more and learning more I found that this was not the case. Cunningham said I didn't need to go through training and that I could learn on my own.. and I did learn allot on my own. When I started getting more into the Wiccan way of life, I found over time that what Cunningham writes about is nothing like the Wicca that has been in our country for decades. Some of the only ways to fully experience the full spectrum of the Wiccan path is still to this day through training in a coven setting. Now Cunningham did start a movement in the pagan world that is a wonderful thing. He provided an easy form of practice for a solitary eclectic witch. However, the movement that he started is nothing at all like the Wicca that was brought to this country by Gerald Gardener. And at one point it has to be admitted that how this new form of witch craft and practice is presented, is no longer Wicca.

Say you are making apple sauce. You have your basic ingredients of water, sugar, apples and cinnamon. You start to make it and say to yourself that you want lots of cinnamon, so you add a little extra. You then add allot of water and it becomes soupy and has lots of chunks. You strain it.. and then you realize that you aren't left with applesauce at all. In fact you have made a wonderful glass of hot apple cider, the apple cider tastes wonderful. However, this drink is still not the same as applesauce. They may share similar origins, and ingredients, but they are not the same. This is allot like Cunninghams take on Wicca. He changes many things about traditional Wiccan practice and molds into something different. And the problem I have with it is that I don't want to buy a jar of apple sauce and get juice, and vice versa. I can go on and on about the changes he made and what is different and the whys and hows.. but really that is for each seeker to find on their own journey. Wicca in itself is a long journey that will take decades, if not the rest of your life, in study. If you really feel that reading a single book sets you out on a path and makes you an official Wiccan, than you have a longer journey than you think. And honestly, I feel sorry for those that are stuck in that mindset.

Back to the apple. It represents, in this analogy, paganism. Only you can decide how you want to eat the apple. There are so many ways to cook it from pies, butters, jellys, sauce, fritters.. I can go on and on. You as a pagan have to decide if you want to try just the juice and stick with that, or if you want to enjoy the many different ways you can eat an apple. Only you can make that choice. But remember, apple pie is not the same as apple chips.

Oy, I'm Hungry.

My Daily Facial

I have very sensitive oily skin.. do you know how hard that is to maintain? Most sensitive skin products do not clean the oil off my skin.. and the oily skin products make me break out because they are too strong. However, greening my daily facial care regimen was the best thing I have ever done.

-I wash every morning with Burt's Bees Soap Bark and Chamomile Deep Cleansing Cream. Not only does it clean well and very gently on my skin, it contains herbs that make my skin tingle and it always makes me feel cleaner. When I get out of the shower, my face feels so smooth and I love it. I will be using this soap for a very long time.

-When I get out of the shower I use Burt's Bees Rose Water and Glycerin Toner. This stuff is awesome! It makes me feel even cleaner and smells like heaven. I use it through out the day as well for times when I start getting oily in my T zone.. keeps me fresh all day.

-Lotion I only use sparingly, because my skin is so oily to begin with I rarely have dry skin unless it is the dead of winter. I use Burt's Bees Radiance Day Lotion, about the size of a half a pea and it is enough to keep my skin from ever drying out. I only use it if I am going to be in the sun all day or it is a very dry day.

After I switched to this daily routine I found that my skin was way healthier. I do not get acne anymore and I have even noticed that son dark aging spots I had developing faded away. I have a healthy youthful glow and I still get carded. I also rarely wear makeup at all..only to formal occasions. I have found that with using natural products my skin doesn't need to have make up on it barely at all. I highly suggest greening out your face.

The Bad Book List

The more pagan boards I surf, the more I notice that in general pagans these days are reading crap. Its like they get stuck on a certain type of Author and just stick with these books and never get onto books that will further their knowledge of the craft. So here is my guide to these books.. feel free to flame or comment away because I know that since so many pagans out there think these books are "gospel" that I am bound to piss off someone.

Lets Start with Cunningham..

...His books on herbalism are decent books, you can't go wrong with those in a collection. However, it seems like every pagan has read "Wicca A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner". And so many pagans take this to mean that Wicca is primarily a solitary faith and practice. Wicca was evolved by Gerald Gardner as a practice for covens and group work. I am not saying Solitary practice isn't a valid and beautiful path at all. I am saying that there is so much more out there to Wicca.. many things that are not in a book and can only be taught through experience with a group and that you shouldn't put yourself out on that because you feel that this book and the rest of cunninghams work is so awesome.. there is so much more out there.


Silver Raven Wolf

..She isn't called Silver Raven Twat for no reason. Not only is she criticized for being one of the worst pagan authors in history..but she has also been called unethical, a bigot, uneducated and an idiot. Not only did she publish a book geared for teens that makes Buffy look like an encyclopedia..but she also threatened one of my friends who wrote her about this book and told her she didn't think it was ethical to print it. An example of her work is that she actually recommends using Venus, a love goddess, in money magic...explain to me how that works.. please.

Laurie Cabot

Have you ever seen a video or picture with this woman in it??? Seriously.. if you were walking down the street and someone who wore more makeup than Elvira and Marilyn Manson came up to you and announced that they were the "official witch of Salem".. what would you say to them? Beyond the "books" cover.. this woman is extremely feminist.. she pays no attention to a god figure and her entire work is mainly about feminism. In my experience of 10 years being initiated I have found that most Wiccans are about balance.. between Male and Female. Going off what this woman says is purely one sided and you are missing an important half of the equation. Wiccan practice is about fertility.


Fiona Horne

In this day and age pagans should know better than to follow a person based on their looks.. if being a playboy model turned pagan is a way to get famous and sell books than we have huge problems here.

Most pagans became pagans in the first place because they questioned the bible..I just think that we all need to take a step back and give the same questions to pagan books too. To be continued..

Tooth Paste- where it all began.

My journey to switching over to green products started with tooth paste.. ya I know how lame does that sound? I have always had issues with tooth paste though even when I was a little girl. I think strong mint flavors taste like shit.. actually I would imagine that shit might taste better. Honestly who are they kidding with a burning sensation like that in your mouth? I tried every kind on the market in regular kinds.. but my gag reflex always gave in. Cinnamon and spear mint were my only options that didn't result in me trying not to puke every morning and evening.

Fast forward a bit to when I was pregnant. Tooth paste created my morning sickness problems... I swear by that to this day... I would start brushing and then the coughing fits came and then.. well you get my drift. I soon found myself steering towards kids tooth pastes.. the only one that worked Toms of Maine silly strawberry... it was a miracle at the time.

After pregnancy and the negative experiences with tooth paste I had.. I found myself with a different problem... that kids tooth paste just doesn't make my teeth feel clean enough. So I do like the Toms of Maine brand, it doesn't bother me taste wise, but my teeth do not feel their cleanest. I currently have a tube of Burts Bees.. now despite how thick it is.. I really feel very clean teeth. However the taste is less desirable.. I would love something a bit different, maybe since it has cranberry extract in it to help remove plaque..why not flavor it like cranberries.. just a thought!

The Green Makeover

I have been slowly switching to all natural and organic bath, body and other products the last few months. Part of my reasons for this is my incredibly sensitive skin and my wanting to do whats best for my health and the environment. I have been trying many different ones trying to find what is best for me. Over the next few weeks I will be reviewing the ones I have tried and offering what I have learned up to you. I will also be doing research about different products to get further understandings of the ingredients in the products we use on ourselves so that wise choices can be made. I hope you enjoy!

Magic of Curry

In our home, Curry Chicken is one of our favorite dishes, not only does it smell wonderful.. but it tastes even better. But today we will discuss its magical properties and break down the ingredients in this wonderful mix of spices.

"Most recipes and producers of curry powder usually include coriander, turmeric, cumin, fenugreek, and red pepper in their blends"


Coriander- Used in love charms and magic, what a great way to add a little love to your families diet :-)

Turmeric- research has found that the more you eat the lower your chance of cancer..I am sold! It has also been used for dyes in many Asian/Indian weddings.

Cumin- Brings peace and harmony to the home.

Fenugreek- not only good for increased breast milk supply, but aids in digestion, is considered an aphrodisiac and helps attract money.

Red Pepper- a fiery herb that is great for protection.

Ginger (which many blends have)- passion.


I don't know about you, but all of these magical uses sound like something I could definitely use more of in my home!

Okay.. I'll do it

I need to feel some comfort in our current financial situation so here goes my first attempt to do some prosperity magic in a long time. Not sure what I am going to do exactly, but I know for sure that it is the full moon and this will be the best time to do some magic. I know I have some green stones around somewhere.. maybe I should just consecrate a bracelet or the sort.. who knows.

Times of Blah

So this week my husband lost his job..it was a mixture of mismanagement and his own damn fault. It has been time for him to move on for a while now, as he has had this Job for 6 years and was not getting anywhere with it..and barely had gotten any raises since starting... he had already been looking into new jobs.. and was severely depressed when he figured out that he would make more money as a garbage man instead of taking care of delinquent youth. I am just sick of the financial crap that is going on.. everyone is feeling it.. you know you are. Is it even worth it to do prosperity magic? why bother going to my basement and pulling out supplies and setting up an altar when the entire country has no money left to go around. Have you also noticed that the ones who aren't struggling right now are the ones who don't need it.. you know that gay friend from high school who wastes money on a new car to match his outfit and a matching Iphone every 6 months... or the girl who was a major bitch in high school who posts pictures of herself on facebook in a drunken state of delirium..why do I have her as a friend anyway? I am just so over this backassed karma thing.. I do good for me and my family and my community and then I am faced with just another hurdle and seemingly endless array of obstacles that just block out what I want next for myself in my life for myself and family. I try to stay positive but I know the reality of it all. It is most likely best that I do not break out the gear and do some prosperity work.. my energy is so off and frustrated that I would probably end up having a person die and leave me money.. and it would be someone who was not ready to go.. that is just my luck.

Fall- a concious stream.

I just love this season. The leaves changing to warm hues and the air getting cooler.. warm cider with cinnamon and a bunch of cinnamon candles scent your house while cookies bake in the oven. Watching your family rake the yard and see your son hop around the yard with his own real rake made of metal and wood and its even his size!...the sound of the acorns pop pop popping in the fire pit with the burning leaves. Sleeping with the windows open and 3 blankets.. listening to your son yell around the house "FUUUUUUUUU" while holding up the Kung Fu Panda DVD. Watching the Hawkeyes and having a beer.. and then rubbing it in to my east coast friends when we kick penn states ass.. yep its lower case for a reason. I honestly did wear a hawkeye shirt to the blue and white penn state party back home in Jersey.. it was really blue and white. Venison chilli with 4 kinds of beans.. mmmm with crackers crumbled on top and a bit of cheese. I think I am already craving turkey..definitely stuffing and cranberry sauce. We will be in line at ToysRus @ midnight before you know it..well only us crazy ones. Does the goddess ever have to wait in lines? Does Hades have bathrooms? Persephone will soon know...if she eats the pomegranate she will have to go. But for now I must blow out my candles and open the windows and find my 4 pillows.. and blankets.. ahh the scent of campfire lingers on the breeze from our burning leaves..I cozy down in my bed and drift down to dreamland like the leaves on the trees.

The "Would Be" Peace

It is a lazy Sunday morning.. the entire family has slept in till 8:30 (a huge deal!) I have gotten out of bed and made banana pancakes, and put on my Pandora station and made myself coffee. All is going well... minus my 2 year old having a random freak out about some unknown factor. It never fails does it? you almost find a moment of pure blissful peace.. and then SCREAM!

The Switch

So recently with in the past few days since the Harvest moon, a full moon on the first day of fall, I have been feeling buzzed with energy. This is not a very often occurrence for me as you know. I have just been aching to read and do magic. I don't get it. How can I just go from blah to woohoo like the flip of a switch?

Labor Day...Literally!

This weekend, while most families are enjoying the "last weekend of summer" My family and I have been been doing a major cleaning spree. We have literally done 10 or more loads of laundry, washing all the bedding and summer clothes, fall clothes.. yep done it. In fact I was up till 2 am folding last night.. But the end product is what it is all about.. a clean home that is ready to get harvest decor and warm candles and warm fall goodness!

more on Cloth..

I found a great website last week that sells knock offs of the high quality brands.. yes I have seen them on a Day Care Kiddo and they are so similar that it is definitely worth it. They just need to get here sooner! I have 4 right now and I have had to wash what I have every day or put 2 cloth on him during the day and the rest sposies. I want my big bag of 10 diapers to get here asap so we can go to sposies only at night and when we are out of the house and of course random diaper rashes. Come on cloth diapers!

"Cloth Diapers?!!!"

So our family is in the process of switching to cloth diapers.. yep I said it! We have switched over to pocket diapers that are so much like a disposable the only difference I see is that you get to wash and reuse. Well man oh man do I get strange looks when I tell other moms about my new project! from weird stares to "how are you going to keep up with that laundry???" it is like I have grown an alien head. Yes I am washing them regularly, yes they work for our son, yes I found a great deal...

Think of it this way... I spent 70 bucks recently for 10 diapers.. I will be able to use them over and over until my son is potty trained. And all for a lower price then I would have spent on 2 months of disposable diapers. Not only will they get used now, but I will have a bunch of diapers ready to go for when we have our next child. So pardon me if you ask me about my new cloth diapering habits in a negative fashion and I give you a strange look back.. because I am saving WAY more money than you.

Karma

An example of Karma in parenting...


You take a toy from your child that is so annoying you want to break it you are angry at this toy.. you place it up high out of their reach. You leave it there a few days.. heck maybe a week or so. One day your child starts dancing around the living room and that toy you had forgotten about falls behind the entertainment center, that you can not move yourself, and gets stuck with the buttons being pushed and it making constant noise... you then have to listen to this noise over and over until your husband is available to help you move the entertainment center.


Yep, that is Karma.

"I need a spell"

So.. I would assume that if you are following my blog you know that I sometimes like to lurk on pagan message boards. Well this one is becoming a daily thing that I have noticed goes on ALLOT. So I am going to introduce a few new self created terms to understand this breed of pagan:

Spell Begging- when a pagan has a random problem that they feel would be better fixed by magical means, and they have no clue how to use magic. This problem would usually best be solved by mundane methods, but they choose to go the magical route first.

Band Aid Magic- when a pagan has a deep emotional problem that requires counseling or deep introspection, but they ask for advice for spells to fix it.

InstaBOS e-pagans- Pagans that respond to requests very quickly with multiple spells they have never even used that they have collected from.

Now from what I have seen, never does the person ask how to write their own spells, or advice to learn enough to do this. That is what worries me. That pagans would sooner jump into following the spells of others than to try and learn it on their own. Too often do I see this happening. The real question is..how do you handle this?

Oy..

So I am writing this to say that I have not forgotten you! I have been super busy with work for my home business that I have not had time at all. But I did make a huge headway with my meditation room in the basement. It is all cleaned and has a basic set up. It is very nice to have a place to escape to at the end of the day AKA bedtime. I promise I will write more.. give me 2 weeks please? when I am more fully done with my Childnet certification?

Springy Spring

Ah life in bloom. I started my first official herb garden for this summer at my home. I really hope that I can become a woman who grows her own herbs and has a wonderful garden. I want it to eventually resemble "The Secret Garden", and we have a long long LONG way to go before we get there. I have never really gardened before besides house plants, but the excitement that I have that my Jasmine plant is still alive is testament to fate. So basically, when it comes to gardening, I am a 2nd grader wondering what I will wear to my prom. So I am starting little. I figure a small sensory herb garden is a good start. This way if it doesn't grow I am not too disapointed, but if it does, the kids will have a nice collection of plants to sniff, touch and taste this summer. I have started by getting a small plastic green house at walmart. I then bought seeds and followed the directions to a T. So far I have Cilantro, Lavender and Mint growing. Basil is looking a bit more lazy, lets hope she doesn't decide to skip the party. I should have them in the ground outside eventually it is looking like. So wish me luck!

Oh blog.. how I missed you!

I did not enjoy the fact that best buy said I would have my cord on tuesday, and that I did not get it till friday. Not Fun! I felt really cut off from the world, only getting about 1 hour max a day of online time to check emails in the basement, I really missed being able to talk to my other mommy friends sporadically during the day, such as nap time. However I did get allot of things done during the day! Special name tags for the play room for all of my day care kids, a spring cleaning list started, my herb garden is planted in a small seed green house.. ahh so much done! I have been brainstorming one blog for the past week and I still feel that it is not completely done in my head... I just need to write it! but for now. attending to the tantruming toddler is what is on my plate.

I am not ignoring you..

my laptop cord died and I can only get online via the basement PC.. so my net time is restricted to when my son is sleeping and I am not working. Not fun for me, but I have gotten allot done around my house. I have a few nice commentaries coming up once I am back up and running..first order of business, my incense, second Bubbles.

The Uniform

Every one has a uniform that they wear to work.. be it the tradition Burger King uniform you wore when you were a teen, or the monkey suit you wear to work in your 30's. But what about moms who work from home or are stay at home mommies? What is the traditional daily uniform? Well I am going to tell you about mine.

Bras and Undies- well I have to admit I don't wear undies...not very comfy and an allergy to the elastic in the bands has made me restrict my usage of these to when I wear dresses only. As for bras... a good comfy non underwire is my preference. I may have a big chest, but I really can not take a wire sticking in my side while I am chasing after my toddler.. so we skip that and move to comfy leisure bras for daily wear... underwires are reserved for formal occasions.

Pants- Yoga pants are a must! If I am going to be getting on the floor up and down constantly throughout the day with my son, and then go from cooking to cleaning to meditating.. they just work the best. They have to have a draw string, but pockets are optional. Yes pockets are nice to have for stowing away the occasional tissue, but honestly I do not mind getting up and down every time I have something that needs to be tossed. Jeans are good too, I usually save these for when we go out shopping or for dinner. And never "mommy jeans" either.. nice fitting pants that make me look nice.. hey Moms need to feel sexy now and then too.

shirts- T-shirts.. a logo or print is ok.. but a plain t-shirt works great too. Nothing like a good ole white v-neck!

Jewelry- I keep low key on this... daily I wear my nose ring, wedding ring and a hand made silver dragon fly pendant, or my mother and child pendant depending on my mood. I have learned that most things just get yanked on so less is better.

Makeup- I wear 3 things.. organic moisturizer, mascara and lip gloss. I do not need to age my skin with all those harsh chemicals in makeup ..and the fact that I still get carded at 30 is proof that I am doing it right.

Feet- Carrie from sex in the city would cry if she saw my shoe collection.. the most expensive shoes I own are my winter mukluks and my Birkenstock sandals for the spring and summer.. I prefer having nice socks and fuzzy slippers for very cold days.

So that is the uniform.. what do you wear as your uniform on a daily basis?

Incense Magic

I recently received a question via Private Message for one of the sites I travel asking me about what "Incense Magic" is and what I could tell them about it. So I figured why not just answer publicly.

My own personal daily practice of my spirituality is very similar to a Kitchen Witch. I make foods, crafts, my own cleaners with essential oils to spiritually cleanse as well as disinfect. Most of the time, and what I am known for in my circle of friends, is my Incense. I make a powder incense that is a combination of resins, herbs and oils or other liquids that is burned over a coal. I use specific herbs for a purpose that are balanced for their use and scent. I also can never give you a recipe, because I never write them down. I consider each magical usage a different scenario and I also add till I get it right. It is allot like cooking for me, but for the nose.

Materials for me are always the same, my special mortar and pestle, my consecrated silver spoon, my burner and coals and a baggie to store extras in, or send some home with my friends. I start with a resin and break it down with a firm pounding action, moving around the mortar in a deosil or widdershins fashion depending on the intent of my incense. I add my herbs and once I get that right I add a few drops of oil with my spoon. The entire process is a meditation for me and I am putting energy into it. Once it is ready I burn it over a coal. If I have time I will sit by and watch it burn while enjoying a refreshment and meditating on it, or I may go about my day while peaking on it while it burns, allot like my cooking, and enjoying the scent while I focus on what I am doing as well as the scent which reminds me of my intent and my magical working.

Sickipoo

So.. I admit it.. I fraked up. Just the other day I was thinking to myself "wow no one has been sick in my family for about 6 months. GO US!" Well wouldn't you know it, DCkid came to my house with a runny nose. We have all been sick ever since. My son was wheezing for about 24 hours straight on Saturday, been coughing ever since.. fever, constipation, runny nose.. refusal to eat.. ALL THE GOOD STUFF. And now I am sick, gotta love when mother hen finally gets the bug and all the house chickadees are feeling better and running around..yuck!

Here is my main complaint. I feel like crap and my husband is begging for me to let him go to bed early. Are you kidding me?? I barely slept last night because I was up all night coughing and throwing covers off and on because of my fever and you are asking me if you can get some extra sleep? What is it with men. Please men, if your wife is sick after listening to a screaming toddler for 2 days straight, just do what ever she tells you, no matter what you think about it. That is almost as dumb to me as asking a pregnant woman with morning sickness for fellatio.

So here is to all the DayQuil I just ingested.. lets hope it works.. otherwise Momma is moving on to the hot totties.

The Cleaning Machine.

I have heard many other mothers say how they like to clean during nap time. I do not do this. Here is a list of reasons why:

1.) I like my "me" time. What better time to have some you time. If you want to nap, blog, surf the net, read, what better time to do this then when your darling/s are napping?

2.) I like my child to see me clean. He has learned to help me clean. He loves to run around the house with his Swiffer that I have for him. It is great, I took out one of the middle pieces and it is his height. It is nice to know that he may continue to love to help mommy clean for years to come.

3.) Cleaning can be loud. When I clean I tend to make allot of noise. Clanking dishes, singing along to music, listening to TV. These are all regular happenings when I clean. I tend to wake my child up when I clean, resulting in lesser nap times.

4.) I clean many times per day. If I didn't it would be a hot mess in here, more than it is now, all the time. I like to keep my sink empty and we try to pick up toys in between all activities.


So, for these reasons, I do not clean during nap times. What about you?

Claiming the Title of "Elder"

There are a few key notes to follow if you want to claim the title of "Elder" in any pagan social setting. Allot of people try to claim this title and just plain and simple, look like assholes. So how should one approach eldership? Well, I am not an elder, but as a pagan I know what I expect to see from an elder. Here is my "elder" job description:

1.) You should at least look like an elder. Even if you are in your 50's, if you come strutting around with a body and face like Madonna's, people are going to question your age and wisdom. While impressive that your body is peri or even post menopausal, having perky chest pearls and red hair and a face that looks 30 is just not conducive to preach to your younger counter parts. If someone is going to give me advice, I hope they have some gorgeous gray locks.. wrinkles optional.

2.) You should be at least in your mid 50's. While it is true that our ancestors of pagan spirituality lived significantly shorter lives, our society lives allot longer.. being 42 is not an elder. People are now having children later, most 35 year old's are now toting a toddler with them to the store. With people in general moving through milestones at older ages, it can be assumed that crone-hood comes much later than it did 40 years ago.

3.) You should be well versed in a multitude of traditions and paths. Just because you have studied 35 years as a solitary, does not mean that you are an expert at the workings of Traditional Wicca, Celtic Recon and Asatru.

4.) If you are younger than 70, you should not call yourself "... the elder". In fact most titles just make people turn up an eye brow. Mage, Magus, Queen, Lady, Wizard, High Priest, High Priestess, Sage...ya.. none of them sound cool to young pagans unless they are 14 and gullible. However, if you are a cane toting, gray haired wrinkle faced who walks around naked with a faded tramp stamp "Jane the Elder" is a pretty obviously funny name.

5.) Elders generally respect all people. If you are being rude and acting like a fool and saying things to younger pagans like "do you need a diaper change", no one is going to respect you.

6.) If you are trying to "teach" someone, make sure you have your facts straight. If you do mess up, the classic "Oh must be that CRS disease again" is better than saying "How dare you disrespect your elder".


So please, before you enter the pagan festival or message board, think about the message you give people before trying to "educate" them.

Becoming the "Mother"

Allot of pagans follow the idea of the Triple Moon Goddess. Maiden, Mother and Crone have become a life path for all women to aspire to in the stages of growth that we attain. How does one move from one phase to the other. Despite the obvious physical markers of these changes of a woman, what emotional and spiritual changes happen at these milestones of womanhood?

It all begins with a period, unless we are discussing grammar, that is a different story. Puberty not only comes with the gifts of budding breasts, raging hormones and cramps, but also with the wonders of the Maiden. A females onset of menses is the physical marker of a female moving from childhood to adulthood. This is the beginning of the Maiden stage. The maiden is the innocent time of a woman (or not so much in many cases if we are discussing sexual prowess), a time of learning and making her way in the world. This is a time were most females go from being a girl to being a woman trying to find herself in this world. She would most likely be looking for love, finding a mate or life partner. This can be a time of struggle and heart ache, but with lessons that guide us in life.

I will always remember the time that I felt the strongest at this time. I was 24, and had paid my rent for the first time on my own with out help from student loans, my father or a roommate. I had worked my butt off waitressing and paid all 1100 dollars of my rent myself. I had received my second degree elevation and felt that I was beyond the maiden stage. I celebrated this "monument" by getting a maiden moon tattooed on my shoulder. I was moving up in the world! Not!

I had somehow convinced myself that even though I wasn't physically a mother, through my needs to nurture my friends and coven family, I had attained this milestone. I guess for me it was partially that even though my friends were in their mid 40's at the time and we not mothers, that I could consider myself "no longer a maiden".

But when does motherhood start? Is it when you first see that magic pink line on the pregnancy strip? Is it when you are filled with all belly in your third trimester aching to get some sleep? Is it when you are pushing out (or cutting) your child into this world? When?

This can tear a thinking mind in many directions. Is it at the start of life? What is the start of life. Well today I am going to officially say, motherhood begins at the point of where the woman.. oh hell, I can't even describe it. So lets start with my personal example. I was pregnant in 2006, hubby and I got pregnant right away. However I lost the baby at 7 weeks, it was devastating. At the time I considered myself a mother, but now that I look back I was still missing the key elements that make a mother truly a "mother". It took us 2 years of trying from that point to get our son. And for me, seeing the heart beat flicker on the screen was a monumental occasion. I felt like a mother, I did everything for my unborn child..I was in love. But I still did not know the pressure and have the heart of a mother. Move on to the time my son was born. I cared for him and did everything for him, I was super duper attachment parenting mother. But even now, I look back and think "that was the easiest part".

Now, lets interject some thoughts here. How do lesbians, and infertile women become "mothers"? How about mothers that do not think about their children first, such as drug addicts that would sooner buy a fix than a nutritious meal?

Well, in the end it all comes down to attitude. The wonders of giving and knowing that your child comes first. That even if you want to take a shower and go to the mall, if your child is sick or unable, your ass is staying home and dirty. The blessing of the mother is to give herself to others. When a woman takes on this responsibility and mindset, she is the "mother". And when did I realize and understand my "motherhood" stage? Well, as unromantic as it sounds, it was in the drive-thru. My husband and I had to grab a quick dinner one night when our son was around 12 months. We ordered for ourselves and then I realized my son needed to eat too. I looked back at him in the back seat and could tell he was hungry, and I felt amazingly guilty that we were going to have food and if he was going to eat that night it would end up being junk food. It was in that moment that I realized how strong my love for this being was, and that what I gave him was the best gifts he got. It was then that I knew in my heart that I was a mother.

The Creative Energy of the Mother

Today I was chatting with an online friend of mine who is 31 weeks pregnant and raging through her nesting hormones. She was trying to find things for the nursery of the baby to decorate the walls. A very motherly thing, but the stuff she was trying to pick out was not very personal. I feel that it is very important for a nesting mother to consider making personalized art for the baby. While creating a space that is comfy and pretty is also part of a natural process, creating something for your baby that is filled with love also is important and natural. Take for example letters for the wall. These can be bought unfinished and made to put on the nursery wall. It is relatively easy to get some matching paint and paint the letters for the wall. It gives you a sense of accomplishment, and gives your child a lasting item that they will know you made just for them. Positive energy in a home can be disrupted by anything, from diaper changes to late night feedings. However a positive reminder of the love you have for your child can help alleviate these feelings during the hard times. What special items have you created for your child?

The Power of Knitting

Now I must say, knitting is not, nor will it never be by favorite craft. However, I would like to state formally that I think every mother should knit at least one item for their child. Now this is not going to be a history lesson, if you want that you can find it here. But I must stress that its history and its connection to motherhood is a very strong one. In our day and age where we can go to wally world and just buy socks, scarves and hats at any time, we forget the painful fingers of the mothers of our past. The reality is that for our even our grandmothers, knitting was a reality of motherhood. If you wanted to put a hat or scarf on your child in winter months, you had to make it. It was a staple of the motherhood experience. My experience recently with knitting, opened my eyes to how difficult and time consuming this process can be. I got to use a new loom object provided by my friend that made it easier, and still the process was time consuming. It took me 2 days of knitting almost non stop to make a scarf that would fit my one year old. It was not the most enjoyable experience, but I gained a new insight and appreciation of mothers who had to do it, and do it still on a regular basis. Kudos to mothers who do this as a pastime, and even more to mothers who do this as a business. Despite how hard this was for me I felt very accomplished with my finished project, not the prettiest.. but each strand was made with love.

The Scarf

I sit here this morning with my friend B and she brought over a bunch of yarn and gizmos to help you knit.. so as I sit here I am knitting my first scarf for my son. I admit, not my first choice of crafts and I do not see myself knitting on a regular basis. However so see the scarf forming before my eyes is a sense of accomplishment. I am very proud of myself. Pics to come.

I am a Mother, I am a creator.

As I sit here playing with my son and the DCkid today, I have been watching the movie "Julie & Julia". I have to say this movie has so far brought out allot in me. I came to realize that I am a creator. I love to cook and come up with my own recipes. I try to find new ways to make traditional foods healthy and healthy foods tasty. I often make one and an impressed with myself and find myself thinking of how I can share it with other people. Or wondering if I should sell my latest batch of homemade incense so that others can enjoy it too who are not as able as I to make such wonderful scents. I think that in my daily routines as a mother, I have forgotten how much of a creator I am. I am always making something, be it food, incense or a piece of art, I am creating. I think it is time for me to embrace more of this side of myself and expand. I have so many things I can share with people in this glorious gift called life. Well here is to creation.. I am thinking you will all start to see some of my creations here more often!

A moment of me time reflection..

I am sitting here tired as anything.. with a major hangover.. my son is cranky and I am trying to hold him off for a nap until after lunch (which is cooking and has about 20 minutes left to go) so that I may be able to take a nap too. The whining from him is just going on and on and on. He keeps stealing blankets and hiding away to suck his thumb (that worries me.. I know I am going to have a had time in a year or so when I try to break this habit).. I should be getting up to go stir the potatoes in the oven.. but this hang over is taking a huge effect on my brain. Is it 1pm yet??

Just want to share

this is a great little blog post and it is simple yet very very true.
http://fansofbeingamom.com/?cat=28

Belief-o-matic

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Seeking new sites

Despite my rather bleak outlook towards the pagan online community in general, I have joined two new pagan networking sites. Ya.. fun stuff. So.. am I the only one who wonders about the people who send you a friend invite the moment you have created your account? I think this is a Jersey thing.. but the words "I DON"T KNOW YOU" with a bit of sass just fly through my head. I know they are just trying to be friendly and meet new people.. but honestly, these people have NO CLUE how much of an asshole I can be when I can anonymously post my thoughts on the internet. Its like a ninja, who is only bad ass at night when he has his kick butt ninja outfit on. Or me when I would have my steel toed combat boots on... I didn't care who I kicked in the shins! I had to give those bad boys away after getting into trouble a few times in concert mosh pits. But in all honesty. Don't people want to get a better feel of you before inviting? at least have a profile ready to go and up? Am I the only one who reads a persons entire profile before I click "accept"?

One off my list

As I quit all of my apps yesterday.. (thank you Rusty for the push and telling me just to do it!!) I started sketching again last night.. nothing really meaningful yet.. but I have a new drawing in the works.. It makes me feel sooo good to do this.. I am aching to go get my drawing materials from my craft room in the basement and start working on my newest creation! here is to the first step!

And "Light a Candle" strikes again..

So I posted on a new pagan forum yesterday about how I was feeling about Haiti and felt helpless.. just to feel this group out. Well.. wouldn't you know I was told to light a candle yet again. I am beginning to think that 'lighting a candle" is the only thing these dumb ass net pagans know how to do. Give me something different please.. how about a "dance naked" or "cook a stew" but please stop saying "light a candle".. unless it is a Roman candle.

The "Apps" wasteland...

For the 100th time today I found myself having to delete another smiley and angel from my facebook page... I got sick of it and posted a biter remark about having to delete them.. and my good.. well more like Great (since it rhymes.. I love a good rhyme) friend Nate said in response, that I should go through and clean out my apps. Well.. what a fricken eye opener!!! 193 apps.. holy fricken cow!!! that is allot of time I have wasted on quizzes and games! 965 minutes alone if I spent just 5 minutes with every App. Not including the countless hours on MafiaWars and other crap games like farmtown. Just think of everything I could be doing instead! Like exercising more.. working with my son on learning new tricks.. the list can go on and on here..

I need to stop.. I need to rethink my life. Today I am spending time deleting the majority of these apps from my facebook account.. I am hoping that I get the balls to delete the ones that have taken the most time out of my life.. we will see how that goes!

And so it is January...

Cold..grey...cabin feverish.. January. Not my favorite month.. I am already getting the urge to get out side and sit on my back porch with a camp fire going with a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other.. ahh now that sounds like heaven! I guess that is a good sign though.. because that means I am craving some me time! I can't wait till my son gets to an age where I can let him play outside and not have to chase him around pulling things like acorns and twigs out of his mouth.

I have my altar set up down stairs... and a few changes made to a room that was an attempted library back in the 70's.. but the spring green paint on the walls needs to go...and the pile of trash in the center of the room from all the demo I did to the room needs to go too.. and a few boxes that need to be organized.. It will be a great room.. but DANG if I had the energy.. I think this weather is just sucking it out of me!

It has been below zero for at least 3 weeks now.. we are supposed to move up to the 30's this week.. I am hoping that changes my mood a bit..

I have been doing something positive though... I have been doing yoga..and I feel physically great.. I have lost 7 pounds in the last 2 weeks.. go me! However I have not been able to bring myself to post or barely even stalk a pagan message board... I swear if I hear the term "light a candle" anytime soon I will be mentally shoving that candle up thier ass!

This might be a long rant..

Well I have been AFK for a few weeks from my blog.. a combination of my laptop being broken down and not having the time to go down to the basement to use our PC.. my husbands laptop finally started loading webpages.. AND... the holidays are finally over...

I am aching to put my tree away... however my visiting mother asked me to keep it up a few more days... I give it 1 week max before I start sneaking ornaments into boxes when she isn't looking :-)

I did do something positive with my time away from my blog.. I set up an altar.. and I got a Zune for Christmas and uploaded a collection of classic rock.

So.. I took some time today to paruse a pagan board I have been spying on lately. I wonder if my choice of board is poor.. or I have become so jaded that neo- pagans in general are a bunch of fru-fru fluffy bunnies.. and all the pagans I used to like to chat with are just gone??

An example of this is a post from a woman regarding being new to the craft and feeling overwhelmed by book selections...

..4 of the 6 posts responding to this woman suggested she start with Cunningham...since when was Cunningham ever a good writer? I will give the guy credit though.. he is wonderful at writing "do what ever you want and say its your faith" and putting it into 2 books and selling it... that guy would be rich if he was still alive today. Don't get me wrong.. his incense oils and brews book is good.. some of his other books are probably good too.. but Guide for the Solitary Practitioner.. might as well read Silver Raven Wolf... hell Laurie Cabot might be a step up from those idiots.

It's like internet pagans in general are complete fluffer nutters...

Spiritual Message Boards

Have you ever noticed how when it comes to spiritual based message boards, you become very aware how full of shit people are?? I swear some of these people must sit on the crapper and shit out sunshine, rainbows, and the answer to world hunger and peace.

One post in particular was written by a woman who just caught her husband cheating on her in her bed. One person actually responded to the woman by suggesting she light a "plum" candle annointed with lavendar oil and pray for open communication.

WTF.. first off what is with a plum candle? A plum scented candle? so you are suggesting that a smelly candle manufactured by some poor sweatshop kid is going to help this woman? and then you are suggesting rubbing more scented oil on it to make it smell like 2 different things.. great lets give the poor woman a headache on top of being angry and distraught about her situation... and if you meant a purple candle.. why not say PURPLE instead of sounding like a flowery fruit cake?

Point number 2- If I found my husband in our bed with another woman I would need a hell of allot more than a candle.. a candle would not hit his head hard enough and the flame would be out before it hit him.. how about a bowling ball and a blow torch?

I just don't get what goes on in these peoples heads.. do they sit around all day meditating to pure moods, rubbing themselves down with oil and lighting 7 types of scented walmart candles.. with incense going at the same time.. and meditating with magnets on their heads while their kids massage their feet? do they actually take time out of their day to be mothers?

Does Busy equal Lazy?

I have been bad this week.. I have not followed up on any of my "homework". Instead I have been working, then doing turkey day.. then holiday shopping.. today I could have done something for my homework.. but instead I made a pot of chilly, cleaned the kitchen and started getting ready to put the tree up.. does making myself busy constitute laziness for my spiritual side? I have felt the close family spirituality and love this week allot.. planning for Yule, Christmas and Chanukah. We plan on celebrating them all this year.. no one in our family really subscribes to the judeo-christian faiths, but we still want to expose our son to these religions, so that he can choose his faith when he is ready.. But as for my own spirituality.. still just a block.. like constipation. Too bad there isn't a spiritual laxative.. just take one and see the gods!

Day 1 of my check list.

So far so good!

Last night I emailed a pagan author, and got a very prompt response to my surprise. I also contacted an old pagan friend, and got a brief convo with them. I also went on a walk with my son after nap time today. I also asked my husband to let me take a nap today and he not only said "yes" but surprised me with a capacino when I woke up.

Last night I tried to email 2 New Age authors. One email wouldn't send, the other sent and I was given a reply within 30 minutes. I have to say, I am extrememly impressed with Patricia Telesco's response time. I think that I will personally go out and buy another book of hers. She has written over 100 of them, and I really enjoyed "The Kitchen Witches Cookbook". Her advice was short, sweet and solid:

"I've always felt my life is the altar - if we live prayerfully and keep that doorway open, then there's no need to necessarily stop and 'refind' ... 'adjust' might be a better term. In those moments when your focus does not seem to inspire you to be the best possible human, that's when you need to shift and figure out what's working and what's not."

So now I ask myself.. what is working and what is not? I think That might be a meditation in itself!

The Plan

Not to be confused with the awesome conclusion to Battle Star Galactica...

In an effort to reclaim some of my lost spirituality (without posting flyers around the neighborhood that say "Missing: My Spirituality.. and a touch of my sanity"), I have decided that building a "To Do" list might be in order. Normally and in my younger years, young Jazzy would have said WTF to a to do list in general.. let alone one to find some missing spirituality. However, with the pressures of running a business and being a mother, To Do lists are my savior! So.. who knows if any of these will work.. but its a start!


1. Find some more me time... shower time is your only time besides nap time.. and taking a shower till the hot water runs out in hopes of a few more minutes alone is obviously not enough now.

2. Share this blog with 5 old pagan friends, reconnect and consider their advice.

3. Join a pagan message board and post a topic.. how have other moms retained their spirituality?

4. Contact a Pagan Author and ask for their advice.

5. Take up some form of spiritualy based exercise.

6. Get drunk and watch "sacred planet"....

7. Reduce Internet time in general.. there are only so many times you can read CNN or Babyzone posts.

8. Connect with another mother who seems to have her head on straight and still maintains a vision of spirituality in the world (I am thinking BuddyLove from BZ is perfect for this)

9. Research at least 3 different Mother Goddesses from different cultures.

10. start drawing again

11. burn some incense at least once every 5 days... candles too! just think your flameless scentsy candles should be here next week.. gotta love child safe candles!

12. take more walks

13. find some me time!

The begining.

I was sitting in the shower while my son was napping, and my husband was listening to the Hawkeye game, attempting to meditate. I was trying to feel some sort of resemblence of the spirituality I felt about 5 years ago before I was married with children..when All I had was myself and I felt a connection to the earth and my gods in every part of my body. I was feeling some sort of bliss standing alone in the shower scrubbing myself down with my body poof and some old Bath and Body Works gardenia shower gel. But that came to a crashing hault when my husband started blasting "Afternoon Delight" from the next room. I got out of the shower, and before I was even done toweling off I was greated at the door of the bathroom by my husband who came in trying to play a radio parody for me to "Afternoon Delight". I usually love that song, but after that moment I felt that I might never listen to the song the same way again.

I have been in the happiest time of my life for a long time. I love my family.. being a mother has been the greatest love I have ever known. Then why do I no longer feel a connection to my spirituality? Isn't your spiritual center supposed to come from the same place as love? Had hundreds of poopy diapers clouded my connection to the Earth? How do I get it back? Was it gone for ever? What do I do?