Pagan Spirit Gathering: Part 1, My Personal Experience.

I recently attended Pagan Spirit Gathering in Earlville, IL.  hosted by circle sanctuary and Selena Fox.  I am still "recovering" from this.  My kitchen has a few camping items left out that are in the process of being washed..but my once mud soaked clothes are now hanging to dry, the bedding is cleaned and put away and I feel a strong connection to my faith and the earth that can not even be described in words. 

I traveled from my small town in Independence, IA with the other 2 pagans in our town, we dubbed ourselves the Independence Iowa Pagan Alliance for shits and giggles and travel the 3ish hour drive to the festival.  We used our GPS and from the road all you could see was a little drive way.   Once we pulled in, we were in a different world.  We were welcomed with open arms and being that this was our first time at the festival we were greeted with people calling us "virgins" and asked to ring a bell..I rang that bell with all my might and we were welcomed home. 

I have been to several other festivals in the past, such as Phoenix Phyre, but this was the largest one I have ever attended.  What I liked about this fest is that it was so big that we were literally tent to tent and were forced to get to know our neighbors.  When we arrived, which we just went for the weekend instead of the full week, all of the shaded camping areas were filled and we had to open tent in the quieter area.  I wasn't happy about it when we got there, because I fully intended to stay up till 5 am each night enjoying night time festival activities.  However, I was more than happy with being there when I didn't stay up till 5 am partying like a maiden. 

I was not able to attend any workshops the first day because we were still unloading and setting up camp at the time, but we were able to chat with our tent city neighbors and met some really nice people.  We chatted and shopped around the merchants row area, which highly impressed me.  There were over 20 vendors (probably even double that) and not many that had the same crap you see at every pagan shop that is made in china.  Most of the vendors had homemade goods that were unique and very calling to me.  I really wish I had about 500 bucks to spend there, because I would have spent it all between the crystal balls and hand made goddess outdoor hangings, or the hand carved statues.    I came home with a CD by Emerald Rose (which I forgot to have signed.. boo), a handmade deer skin and quartz necklace for my son, a new goat skin head for my djembe and the biggest mortar and pestle I have ever seen. 

That night I attended the festivities which several drinking parties were commencing.  There were hoards of half naked women and men in kilts and loin cloths, and even people dressed like Pan.  I do not remember many parts of that night because the jungle juice is still clouding my brain (I only had one after my few glasses of wine with din din).  But I can say that it highly messed with me.  I thought the bull frogs from the swimming pond were following me and started yelling curse words at them at 2am.   I had walked about 5 times back and forth from my tent to the bathroom to the party and I probably stumbled drunkenly about a total of 5 miles that night.   I danced around the drum circle a bit and sat down and enjoyed it allot.  I got to meet a nice drum troop that fully reminded me that I am so not a maiden anymore!

The next day I woke up after about 3 or 4 hours of sleep and I got up early to try and beat the rush to the showers.. but I was wrong.  I had to wait over an hour to shower, but the blessing was that Selena Fox was online right behind me and I got to chat with her and I must say I was impressed!  Most pagan festivals I have attended, all the bigger named people tend to either go to a hotel instead of camp out, or have very private area.  But she was waiting on the line with the rest of us as an equal.  She was a very nice woman and very charismatic and funny.  I don't think I have ever felt someone have such naturally happy energy.  I also attended a few rituals she hosted during my short stay and I was even impressed with those because the way she did it was very polite and welcoming of everyone's beliefs.  I definitely will be checking out gatherings at Circle Sanctuary (about 3 hours away from me) for the near future. 

I went to the morning meeting and afterwards attended 2 different workshops.  Both of these workshops had a strong effect on me.  One was a guided meditation that just opened me up and brought me into the feeling of community at the festival.  The other was about using the Charge of the Goddess in every day life that was just wonderful. 

That night was the main ritual that was the biggest ritual I had ever seen, with nearly 1000 people.  It was allot of standing and walking but beautiful in its own way.  Afterwords we sat at our camp and chatted all night with a crone that came by with popcorn and marshmallows to share.  We chatted all night and shared stories and ideas about life and paganism.  It was so nice to be able to chat so openly. 

The entire experience renewed my sense of pagan community and opened up things in my personal life that I needed to handle on my own.  I felt healed and energized and came home with some new ideas.  I will be definitely going next year and going for the entire week. 

On Pagans and Criticism: An Editorial.

For the past week I have been following several pagan boards, blogs and discussion groups.  Each of these groups has had their own drama to contend with.  The pagan mommy blogs have all been watching the unfolding of an issue with a ratings contest at Circle of Moms.  The boards have all been lit up with posts regarding others being mean to them, stating how they do not like criticism.  And finally, the discussion groups have all been in an uproar about more experienced and practiced pagans fighting with seekers and newbies.

First, before I go any further, I must explain that I try to avoid disagreements if at all possible.  This said, I also believe in speaking my mind, especially when someone questions the integrity of my path or those of my loved ones, or says something that is a flat out lie.  I do not believe in trying to change a persons path at all, but I do believe in helping people with offering what I can in the way of information and guidance.  I only offer it if it is asked of me or actively sought.  If I offer this help I expect to be respected for my knowledge, experience and opinion.  I also expect people not to assume that I will follow their personal dogma or adapt it to my practice in any form.  But ultimately I believe that the pagan community has many lessons to learn from each other as a community, and should value the lessons that everyone has to offer.

But not everyone is open to this.  An example, from one of the boards I travel this week, one woman posted a reply to a topic where she stated she didn't want to have anything to do with pagans who didn't follow the Rede.  I severely hope that I took this the wrong way, I'm really trying to give the benefit of the doubt.  However, how in the heck do you expect to come into a community looking to outreach to pagans if you can't even have an open enough mind to communicate with over half of them?  You can't be all "love and light" by avoiding so much, it defeats the purpose.  And I would love to help her and show her something new.  I would say to her that "not everyone believes in the Rede, including some Wiccans and this (insert long list) is why".  I would not expect her to understand them all but I would expect her to listen nicely and consider what i am saying.

Now on the discussion groups on Facebook, I am seeing pagans attempting to help people and state their firm yet researched opinions, and newbies flying at the elders and more learned pagans.  They call them names, attack them personally, attack their ideas and then cry out that they are being attacked when the person, trying to help them, defends themselves.  And this doesn't even matter that people are able to state multiple sources, the less experienced people still cry out "persecution".  In one instance, a pagan asked for someone to state their sources or tradition they practiced to further their own knowledge.  The other pagan flew at them, ignoring the request for a source, called them names, sent her husband to the discussion to call the person who questioned an idiot.  Seriously???!!!

I just don't get why pagans act like this.  When I was a newbie, this path was always referred to as "the path of the wise", and somewhere that has gone to the birds.  What ever happened to valuing elders and knowledge?  The part that bugs me about all of this is that you go on these same communities and find people begging for spells and saying they want to find a mentor.  It is disheartening, as a pagan who has studied for 15+ years, and as a person who is always seeking to further her path.

I did however get to see pagans coming together this week, a little glimmer of hope.  On the blogosphere, a contest is underway on Circle of Moms, that is seeking to find the top 25 faith based mommy bloggers.  A Christian mother attacked the pagan mothers and said that their faiths were not valid and should not be considered for the contest.  This lead to many pagan mommy bloggers teaming together to promote their blogs as a group to show that we are a strong community.  I am so proud to be a part of this movement, and hope to see many more actions like this.  The best part of this event was that it didn't matter if we agreed with each other or not, we were all attacked and stood together and I hope that one day we see more of this in the community.  And I know that this is asking allot because we are such a diverse group of people with so many different beliefs and histories, but I know that as a whole, pagans can get along.  Here's to wisdom!

I FAILED My Own Challenge...

A few months back I issued a challenge and I failed my own challenge. I fully planned to take this on wholeheartedly, but I must admit I did not force myself to do this. I planned on trying to be an eclectic pagan for 30 days and following the basics of that path. I posted on one of the forums I frequent, looking for suggestions and the basic response was, "Well, solitary eclectics get to do what ever they want so just go with what ever feels right". Well that was where I hit my problem.. my path already was what feels right. So I decided that I would go to my book shelf and pick out the first two books that called to me that I hadn't read in a while. So I picked up a book on shamanic healing that was loaned to me by a friend that I never looked at, and a book and cards kit on goddesses. I figured I would get familiar with both and then put together a shamanic goddess ritual for the next full moon. Well I tried..I picked up both and flipped through them several times. I tried to sit down and read them both. The problem was drive, I had no ambition to actually sit down and take time out of my day to read them. So there on my shelf by my bed the books sat. I would glance over at them saying to myself "I need to read those" but it just didn't happen.

My conclusions to this is that Solitary Eclectic was a bad choice on my part..I should have gone with something like Celtic Reconstructionism, Dianic or Buddhism, but Solitary Eclectic was way too broad. In the end we all follow what feels right to us, regardless if it has a certain structure or is a grab bag of ideas... If we didn't, we wouldn't follow it at all.

Spirituality on the Clock

In this day and age we are forced to work in society and hold jobs to survive. Our pagan ancestors lived very different lives than us. They were able to be in the natural environment allot of the times they were working. For us many of us spend time in the corporate world trying to make a buck at the mercy of the system. I am one of the lucky ones that works for themselves. Yes I have more freedoms than most, but I too have to work hard and rarely have time to focus on my spirituality for that part of the day. Working by myself and noting having coworkers has allowed me to find ways to let in my spirituality for those 8 hours a day where I am focusing on my work. But we can find ways to be spiritual in the work place without outing ourselves as Wiccan or Pagan. Here are some techniques to think about:

-Keep a small ritual kit in your bag or coat. This can include a few stones or a figurines, herbs, essential oils, sea salt. Any items to help you center when needed.

-Keep a live plant at your desk, unless you are lucky enough to work outside. Take time to nurture the plant and allow the natural energy to come to you when needed.

-Have a small collection of the 4 elements such as a stone, a candle, a mini fountain or bottle of water and a feather or book.

-Ground when needed.. because what better way to deal with a boss/client who pisses you off?

-Wear or keep in your pocket a mojo bag with items that help you feel connected.

-Take meditation breaks.. if smokers get to go outside now and then.. why can't you? Everyone needs fresh air.

-Listen to nature sounds or meditation music on your break.

-Take your shoes off (actually since I work at home I never wear shoes..) and feel the ground beneath your feet.

-Write in your journal and read when ever you can.

-Sneak in moments of your secret indulgences such as chocolate.. or even the occasional online forum or blog.

so how do you connect to your spiritual side on the clock?

Spiritual Message Boards

Have you ever noticed how when it comes to spiritual based message boards, you become very aware how full of shit people are?? I swear some of these people must sit on the crapper and shit out sunshine, rainbows, and the answer to world hunger and peace.

One post in particular was written by a woman who just caught her husband cheating on her in her bed. One person actually responded to the woman by suggesting she light a "plum" candle annointed with lavendar oil and pray for open communication.

WTF.. first off what is with a plum candle? A plum scented candle? so you are suggesting that a smelly candle manufactured by some poor sweatshop kid is going to help this woman? and then you are suggesting rubbing more scented oil on it to make it smell like 2 different things.. great lets give the poor woman a headache on top of being angry and distraught about her situation... and if you meant a purple candle.. why not say PURPLE instead of sounding like a flowery fruit cake?

Point number 2- If I found my husband in our bed with another woman I would need a hell of allot more than a candle.. a candle would not hit his head hard enough and the flame would be out before it hit him.. how about a bowling ball and a blow torch?

I just don't get what goes on in these peoples heads.. do they sit around all day meditating to pure moods, rubbing themselves down with oil and lighting 7 types of scented walmart candles.. with incense going at the same time.. and meditating with magnets on their heads while their kids massage their feet? do they actually take time out of their day to be mothers?